Out With The Old

I went into work today, to clean out my office and basically finish everything up that I didn't quite get to during the week. This time tomorrow it'll all be over, and I'll be taking a much more backseat role in student politics. It's been a pretty astounding year. I'm not quite ready to be all reflective "I learned so much through the trials and tribulations" yet, though. For now, I just want to breathe deeply, and be glad I've (almost) made it through.

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I'll start my next job Tuesday. I'm just doing it for a month, to fill in time and earn some extra cash before starting med in January. Wow, earning a real wage, as opposed to the below-the-poverty-line-stipend I've been on all year! The money makes me wonder why I'm bothering with more study at all (and apparently gruelling study, at that) when I could just abandon uni forever now and be earning a very substantial wage in a position that is quite enjoyable. My first year out of med school, I will be earning the same money, for more than twice the hours worked. MBF reminds me, though, that ten years after grad that will probably have changed a lot, whereas ten years in office administration isn't going to yield much of a change in salary.

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Had the most fantastic day yesterday! I had a smile on my face all morning just thinking about it. MBF drove us up to Woodford for a pre-festival orientation, and we reunited with more theatre kiddies we know from uni that we didn't realise were going to be at the festival. It's going to be such a fantastic party, with so many of our friends there. Once we'd driven back to the city, we hung out in his pool for a while, which was the perfect remedy for the mugginess hanging over our hometown for the time being. I haven't been swimming in AAAAAGES, so it was very refreshing. We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out, chatting, watching dvd's and just generally relaxing. And I got LOADS of sleep after it all! After the past few weeks of lying awake until 3am or thereabouts, to sleep easily was heavenly! I will never take sleep for granted again. The effect of yesterday has meant that today I feel wellrested and completely content. All in all, a very nice way to be!

Going With the Flow...

...is incredibly difficult when you're prone to overanalysis as I am. Part of me is desperate to really understand what's going on. But part of me thinks I really need to just let it go. I'm pretty tired of being the one in this who always asks the questions, who always checks if it's all okay, who always puts myself out there. It's hard; I'm scared of the answers, too. And unfortunately we are each master and mistress of the arts of deflection and evasion. So any questions I ask, all receive are answers that aren't really answers at all, and once that game begins, I'm playing it, too.

This can't go on forever.

One More Down

I got my First Aid Certificate yesterday, so one step closer to starting Med in Jan! I'm thinking of becoming a volunteer first aider with St John's, actually. It seems like a pretty cool way to improve my skills - if I'm a volunteer I'll get trained to use a defibrillator and oxygen equipment - and get some experience dealing with distressed people, as well as potentially getting to attend some cool gigs for free! There's also the possibility of volunteering in the emergency departments of a couple of hospitals, which could be extremely eye-opening.

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I'm approaching the final days of my student political career. Thank god for that. It couldn't come soon enough.

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People are confusing. I don't like it when people play games with me. Especially if I'm not entirely sure whether they're playing games or not. Why can't everyone just be frank and say what they really mean? Of course, I'm a total hypocrite, because it's not as if I haven't done my fair share of game-playing in the last few weeks. At least when I play, though, I understand the rules.

Theme Music for the Week: John Mayer's I Don't Trust Myself With Loving You. Although at times I'm not sure whether that should be from my perspective or someone else's.